With Thanksgiving Break upon us, odds are you’re going to get drunk (everyday) and find yourself hooking up with some random you just met. There are few sights more pathetic than a girl hobbling home at 8am wearing basketball shorts, high heels and squinting as if seeing sunlight for the first time. It would be easy to judge this stranger, but everyone has been in this situation at least once; making the walk-of-shame a rite-of-passage.
With such a large female population at ISU, the risk of suffering from a potential WOS is high, but the following list of do’s and don’ts (from a girl’s perspective) are sure to transform your walk of shame into a catwalk.

Don’t: Greet anyone’s parents
This is especially important with parents visiting for the holidays/picking up their kids. Should you encounter somebody’s parents (or even your own), choose one of these explanations depending on the circumstance:
1) I was going to church and my car broke down.
2) This isn’t where I parked my car.
3) I am getting into character for a play in which I play a prostitute.

Do: Bring Flops
The most telling sign of a WOS in progress is high heels. No student has any business wearing heels before noon unless it is one of those poor marketing saps. Although walking around barefoot the night before may have been acceptable, the sun’s harsh rays will not hide the many bruises and blisters you have acquired. Flip-flops have proven to be the official footwear of the WOS for their versatility. They are easily manipulated into even the smallest of purses - making it downright stupid not to carry them.

Don’t: Cross-dress
Pick his clothes or yours, never a combination. Although the idea of wearing his clothes may have seemed cute at the time, pairing plaid boxers with a sparkly tank top and heels in public can only mean one thing to the rest of the ISU population – you’re dirty.

Do: Wear large eyewear
Although this may cause one to be seemingly more conspicuous, the reality is that the purple bags under your eyes which the hangover fairy bestowed upon you are as bad as you think. Plus, isn’t it fun to pretend like you’re a celeb?

Don’t: Push for a ride home from what’s his name
The only thing more awkward than a solo WOS is a forced ROS (ride of shame), in which both guilty parties are forced to relive the initial uncertainty of whether the other was good looking enough to hook up with...and the realization now that they weren’t.

Do: Look for Watterson
Last night somebody else was probably driving or steering you in the right direction (via your own arm), which places you in a strange location that you have never seen before. If you can’t locate that infamously tall building, you have much bigger problems than looking like a fool while walking home (you’re basically screwed).

Do: Invest in a trial size mouthwash
One quick swig will slightly mask the fact that you smell like a wino. This is especially useful if you encounter someone you know, which Murphy’s Law guarantees you will. So drink up… you had no problem doing so last night.

The ladies of ISU have already taken back the night, now it’s time to take back the morning!