Greatest Invention Ever
You may have thought that the computer was a good invention, or maybe even medicine, but all of it takes a backseat to 26-year old Jeff Libby’s creation – The Table Tap. Instead of waiting for worthless waitresses or a busy bartender to get you a beer, this awesome invention puts the tap at your table. It charges you by the ounce and cuts off after 11 beers, but once a waitress comes over to make sure you’re not too drunk, it starts back up again. So far Jeff has gained permission in Georgia and California, with more states soon to follow. Honestly, if someone can commercialize a toilet/air chair, I’m going to die a happy man.

Footage of Witch Beating Aired in India
Think witches only exist in the Harry Potter universe? Well, apparently the real witches have been hiding out in India. A woman accused of practicing black magic was tied up and beaten in New Delhi, India last week after she failed to heal the wife of a man who paid for her services. A mob tied the supposed witch to a tree, which was ironically close to the local police station, before slapping and beating her and cutting her hair. A journalist captured the entire event on video before finally calling the police, who arrested six members of the violent mob. The video was then aired on Indian television Friday. Maybe this will catch on and The Real Housewives of Orange County will be replaced with The Real Witches of New Delhi.

Family Reclaims Superman Rights
The family of Jerome Siegel, one of the co-creators of Superman, has been awarded a share in the claim to the hero’s rights by a federal judge. They will share rights with Time Warner, who bought ownership of the character from DC Comics long ago. Siegel gave up all rights and claim to Superman when he and his partner, Joseph Shuster, sold the character for $130 nearly 70 years ago. It is yet to be decided if the family will retain payments from Time Warner’s Superman films (2006’s Superman Returns earned $200 million in domestic box office) or just from the DC comics. There’s nothing like collecting the money that your dead relative worked so hard for, right?

Running Gets You High
Sure, recreational drug use is great; but certain legal and health issues make it sometimes less than ideal. After 30 years of unproven hypothesis, German scientists have finally been able to prove that running (or vigorous exercise of any kind, including sex) actually releases endorphins that attach to certain parts of the brain associated with mood, causing a literal “high.” The mood-altering effects included intense euphoria as well as overwhelming calmness. So next time your thinking of breaking the law and your bank account for a quick high, just take home that lonely looking person from the bar instead.