Oh My God, I Want To Go To School There
At schools in California and Massachusetts, students are getting the option of living in a same-sex room or a coed room. They say this is to accommodate homosexuals who feel uncomfortable living with someone of the same gender and also to accommodate straight people that get along better with members of the opposite sex. Many students say it’s not about sex at all but I’m thinking that if we had this privilege, the University would have saved me a lot of walks of shame in my heels and basketball shorts. And we’d have more orgies…score!

Miley Cyrus Brings Skin
Just as when you thought she was the only teen star not baring it all somewhere on the internet, Miley came out with new photos in Vanity Fair and picture on the internet baring midriff and looking very sexual. (Editor’s note: Yes, that 15-year-old shoulder is very sexy.) Disney and parents of thousands of pre-teen fans are not happy about the images. What does her best friend Leslie have to say about it? “She’s just being Miley.” Oh Billy Ray, get a hold of your daughter!

Insanely Expensive Crappers
$300,000 can buy you a lot of things: a nice house, a fleet of awesome cars, a plane, 280, 750 double cheeseburgers from McDonalds (including tax). But in Atlanta, that’s how much the city spent on five (that’s right, five), state of the art public toilets. Don’t get me wrong, these toilets are super nice – they have automatic doors, sinks, and seats, and even play music while you unload your lunch – but $1,500,000 is a lot to spend when there are bigger needs out there…like getting Spencer Pratt removed from this world.

I’d Like That Double Latte with a Side Of Unemployment
As the economy lags, so do Starbucks’ profits. People see Starbucks’ success as a way of measuring this nation’s economic stability. With this profit loss, Starbucks has decided that they will reduce the amount of stores being built in this upcoming year. Not only does this mean that I’m going to have a hard time getting a part time job as a barista (for the benefits, of course), but now I’m gonna have to walk two block instead of one to get my overpriced coffee? This is bullshit!