I’ve always tried to avoid coming off as the type of guy that holds a grudge. Up to this point in my life, I’ve done pretty well for myself, simply on the basis that I am such a likable guy. However, one thing that I’ve never been comfortable doing is saying goodbye in awkward situations. This can include (but is not limited to) dumping a girl, extended stays with distant family members and of course the “have a nice life” graduation ceremony hug. If it were up to me, I would never even have to think about these things. Sadly, it’s not up to me, as I am now trying out the old cap and gown, looking to the future and worrying about my credit score. I am also beginning to make a list of people I need to see before I leave this city and never look back. So far, it’s been a very interesting experience.

Saying goodbye to your guy friends is never that big of a deal. It seems that men possess the strange ability to tie up any loose ends without any sort of emotional attachment. We give each other a handshake and shoulder bump, and then we’re sort of alright, even if we never see each other again. This is partially due to the fact that, deep down, men secretly hate their friends. True story. Women, on the other hand, can be surprisingly difficult to let go of as your prepare to enter the real world.

One thing that has struck me about Iowa City, is the fact that, no matter how you look at it, this city will always be filled with beautiful young women. This wouldn’t be a problem, if I could manage to maintain the physical appearance of a 22 year old until I’m at least 55. My point is this, as one begins to head towards the end of their college experience, they are inevitably faced with the concept of their looming graduation. This can certainly weigh heavy on the mind, as it has it for me for several months now. As I’ve been drifting in and out of coffee shops, laughing casually over lunch with the women that came to play a role my life here at Iowa, I can’t help but think how relatively little I know these girls. I try to picture what their future will be like. To a certain extent, it breaks my heart to think that these women, having seen their passion and knowing the unlimited possibilities of the future, just might end up another trophy wife in a gated community somewhere outside Chicago. A Lexus becomes a consolation prize of sorts, a bonus you receive once you’ve completely sold out your ideals.

I guess the reason I never liked to say goodbye is that, in a way, you seem to be acknowledging the lack of control each of us has in dealing with the world around us. We are all victims of circumstance, and a majority of how we will live our lives in the future will just be reacting to a predictable series of events. In the end, it is worthwhile not to see these people for what they have done in the past, or to stress about where they’ll be at ten years from now, but to value everything you have shared in this moment. That way, you’ll never have to say goodbye.