Do you know how cool it is to blow in a tube for 6 seconds while driving down a busy highway and passing all kinds of cops? Not very, but it has its perks. Having an Intoxalock in your car means you've blown before. Clearly you've driven drunk in the past and now you're stuck with this contraption that forces you to be sober before you can turn your car on. After the fun of the exciting technology wears off, it's just a pain in the ass. However, there may be a few highlights.

It can be a fun little toy for your friends during tailgating. So it's 10 am and you've been drinking for over 2 hours and you want to know how hammered you are? Just open the door and blow hard. (That's what he said.) Yes, you do have to blow as hard as you can and don't mind the spit that bursts out on the sides. And you'll have to manage blowing for 5 seconds, which is about 20 minutes for the drunk. Some may record you at .25, but don't worry, it could be even worse since some Intoxalocks stop at a certain point. And once the timer is up, you'll know just how much you shouldn't drive!

Those black and white cars can be your worst enemy on the road sometimes, but having an Intoxalock means there are no worries when you're trying to drive through downtown Iowa City at night, weaving in and out of drunk pedestrians. A cop might want to pull you over for any reason, maybe your car needs a paint job, but seeing your Intoxalock automatically proves that you haven't had one ounce of alcohol. You are therefore free...this time.

However, having one of these is nothing to brag about. Let's face it, you broke the law. And now it's that much harder to look sexy behind the wheel of an Escalade with an object in your mouth. Because starting your car isn't the only time you have to blow into the Intoxalock, it's every 5 minutes maybe, or whenever it feels like embarrassing your sorry ass the most. It's blow time when the ever-so-silent beeping occurs (which restricts you from ever having a hardcore jamming session in your car) and you then have to blow.

So having an Intoxalock isn't that cool. But it certainly keeps you on your toes. You could have had nothing to drink the entire day and you'll still be praying for zeros when it is reading your BAC. Basically my point is to get used to cabs.