Let’s start this off by saying that although this movie recently opened, there were five other people in the theatre when I saw it on Sunday, with one of those being my date. That should give you an idea about how the rest of the movie played out.

The Plot
For those that are actually interested, the movie is about Clooney’s quest to make professional football a legitimate business. To do so, he recruits Jim from The Office to leave college (where he is a stud All-American and Army hero) and play in the big leagues. Meanwhile, Renee Zellweger is chasing a story about Jim’s past, so she tags along for a month or so trying to find out what really happened when he served in the Army.

Fast Talking, Not Acting
The overall theme of this movie is that everyone talks fast and makes quick jibs (yes, I said jibs) in order to develop some sort of entertaining dialogue. The problem is that as much as they talk and as witty as some lines may be, the story moves so slow that you wish it would just end. It seems as though certain scenes were just thrown in so they could extend the movie to a respectable (and still way too long) length.

Pity Humor
You know when you force someone to go see a movie, and about a third of the way in, you realize that the movie just plain sucks? So then, when anything remotely funny happens, you find yourself needing to laugh, just to validate your choice of movies to see? Well, that’s this entire movie. Every entertaining scene is shown in the previews, and everything else is just slow to develop and boring to watch. I honestly found myself wishing there were more previews before the show because that would have been a lot better (Get Smart looks amazing, by the way).

Number of Bathroom Breaks I Took
Four. Not because I had to pee, but because I was about to fall asleep.

Amount of Time Spent Playing Football
By my count, there was around 20 minutes of football, over half of which happens in the last portion of the movie. And even when they’re playing football, there isn’t a whole lot going on – mainly some shots of people running and being thrown around.

Number of Good Moments
There were probably two good moments to this movie – one drunk fighting scene and one other one that I can’t remember but am assuming exists. Besides that, there is nothing memorable about this movie at all.

Overall Opinion
In all fairness, this movie is supposed to be about something that took place in 1925, and they did a good job making this a movie from 1925. The costumes, the music, the dialogue, all resemble that era, and from what I know about 1925, they did a good job. Sadly, this isn’t 1925, so this movie doesn’t work too well. Seriously, if it didn’t have the cast that it did, there’s no way it would have ever hit the big screen. George Clooney, you’re a sexy beast, but please stick to robbing casinos, not making “sports” movies.