Guy #1: “Do you have a sharpie?”
Guy #2: “No. Why?”
Guy #1: “Oh. So, I can’t write ‘bitch’ on your forehead then.”
- At Hooters

“This isn’t that bad. It tastes like lemon snot.”
- Girl eating lemon meringue pie in Gator Corner

“Rousseau advocated free love and sex for everyone...kind of like a college spring break.”
- Political-theory professor

Girl: We were playing smash brothers and then one thing led to another.
Guy: What do you mean?
Girl: I had sex with him.
Guy: Well, were you playing Brawl or Melee?
Girl: Melee.
Guy: Oh, then that’s no excuse.
- Stoneridge apartments

“I could’ve played Connect Four by myself and lost and had a better time.”
- Guy overheard at the mall

“I really just hate pubic hair. Pubic hair makes a vagina look like a scary animal.”
- Guy in Turlington

Girl 1: Where’s your tampon?
Girl 2: I used it.
Girl 1: Well, take it out cuz I need it.
-In the bathroom at Balls

Girl 1: Go pee on your parents’ couch.
Girl 2: Or you can go pee on your own bed. You can pee anywhere - just not in my house.
- Outside the UF Plaza

Guy: How much do you charge?
Girl 1: $5,000 for one minute. I’m just that good.
Girl 2: But we’re running a special. Two minutes for $5,000. That’s basically two for one.
Girl 1: I don’t think you can afford my hoes, Mr. Darcy.
-Outside of Balls

Guy 1: I didn’t hook up with her.
Guy 2: Why not?
Guy 1: Well, I kissed her.
Guy 2: Oh, well, she’s a slut.
-Weimer atrium

“He just massaged my throat before I swallowed it.”
- Blond girl talking on the phone walking through Turlington Plaza

“Well I’m a Gemini, so I go through seasonal depression.”
- Guy using some choice line while trying to mack on a girl

“I hate when my arms look like elephant legs in pictures”
- Drunk girl in Ft. Lauderdale

Her nipples were so big, her teets had teets.
- A guy lifting weights at the UF gym

It wasn’t that long, but it was as thick as a coke can.
- A girl talking on her cell phone at the bus stop

I don’t like it rough, just a little strangle every now and then.
- A girl talking to her friend
at Panera Bread