I was standing in the kitchen the other day looking for the dishwashing soap. It wasn’t until I walked into the adjacent bathroom that I noticed the bottle of blue Palmolive dishwashing soap where the generic hand soap is supposed to be. I had to laugh. I laughed because I realized living like a poor college student is going to be my way of life as I leave this place in the spring. It’s not going to just be soap, oh no, there’s plenty of things I picked up during my last three years here that still work to this day.

Before I get started with what I’ve learned, let’s talk about a myth I want to dispel. People always associate Ramen with college living and I hate it. Ramen will always be for real poor people, not poor college kids. Everyone hates the smell when you cook this crap, and coming from China, there is no doubt that it has lead in it. Don’t succumb to poorness at this level.

Now, back to what I’ve learned while being a poor college kid. Kleenex is a waste of money, toilet paper and paper towels are much more efficient and sturdy. Their durability comes in handy when you have your mucus-blowing rages after picking up the latest evolutionized super-cell disease that floats around campus and takes weeks for your body to destroy.

You should always have friends in the dorms. You laugh when your freshman buddies complain that the food sucks in the dorms. Eating in the dorms will not only evoke memories of your freshtastic freshman year, there is such an abundance of food, drinks and condiments you’ll want your creative side to shine forth. Last time I was in the cafeteria I pretended I was on an episode of Top Chef. Naturally, I won the Quickfire Challenge and was granted immunity from the Late Night elimination round.

Use everyone else’s laundry detergent. Umm, yeah, since one of my roommates is going to read this I guess it’s finally time to come clean and go out and pick up a jug of Tide. (Sorry dude.) Having the various options of Tide with Febreze, Tide with a touch of Downy, Gain, Tide with a hint of lavender, Tide with soy milk and Tide with a blast of Redbull all make for interesting smells that emanate from my drawer.

Towels are for losers, kinda. When I forget to bring my towel to the bathroom, it’s far too hard to walk the 20 feet back down my hall, so screw it; I’ll just use my t-shirt to dry off. Granted, it can’t absorb as much water as a towel, but it is a lot softer and gets you dry for your walk back to the room.

Hopefully I will have a job come May. Hopefully it will be in New York. But just in case I better start learning how to cure my own diseases. On April 4, 2008 I am officially dropped from my parent’s BlueCross BlueShield PPO insurance. Some of you might go, “Ahhhhhhhh, no insurance!” I laugh. I’ve become my own pharmaceutical company. I’ve collected dozens of antibiotics and other cold/allergy/pain medicines over the years. It will suck if the plague comes to town in the month I’m without insurance, but at least I have my Genebs from McKinley...do you?!