10) Underage Drinking
This one should be pretty obvious; if you haven’t done this yet, DO IT NOW or you will die a horrible death. Of age and never drank? Go ahead and drop out of school- you’re going to hell anyway. Yes, hell.

9) Illegal Parking
If you’ve received at least eight parking tickets or have been towed more than once, you’ve successfully accomplished this one. Haven’t yet? Literally- park ANYWHERE on campus and leave your vehicle there for about an hour. I assure you that some loser meter-maid will get your car towed.

8) Contributing to Minors
Someone needs to get the freshmen drunk. This obviously helps you get your mack on with the fresh meat- an absolute necessity.

7) Larceny
What could possibly be more fun than stealing random shit?! Just make sure you stick to yards, porches, and balconies- free keg anyone?

6) Jaywalking
Campus seems to be the only place in the world where this law is still enforced. Don’t believe me? I double dog dare you to jaywalk at 2 a.m. What’s another $65 on top of that $375 drinking ticket?

5) Assault
Even the most non-violent students must have one uninhibited night full of Red Bull/vodkas and just lose their shit. This includes girls- seriously; it’ll feel oh-so-good to slap a bitch.

4) Use a Fake I.D.
For those of you who are or were too afraid to try a fake, I’m calling you out. PUSSY!

3) Drug Possession
Let’s just say if you have been or get busted for drug use, you enjoyed college much more than most…that is until you got caught. Sorry, dude.

2) Vandalism
What’s more fun than stealing? Tearing shit apart and leaving it for someone else to clean up. Brute force, spray paint, and empty bottles are all helpful, creative options.

1) Drunk in Public
This may be the most difficult crime to commit in college. Basically, you have to be a complete asshole to draw enough attention to your 21+ self to be arrested. Fear not, though; I’m sure if you try really hard, you can succeed!